


The Consequence of Survival

by LilithsLullaby



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angry Sex, Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Dark! Steve Rogers, F/M, God save Steve Rogers, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Smut, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-07 12:31:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18620680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilithsLullaby/pseuds/LilithsLullaby
Summary: *** Potential Endgame spoilers ahead ***Steve takes a moment to rest but the truth of who he has become, the monster Thanos has created, is hard to ignore.





	The Consequence of Survival

**Author's Note:**

> Watched Endgame last night and I’m feeling a lot of conflicting emotions. I’m happy, I’m hurt, I’m broken. I wrote this small little one piece to start proceeding how I feel. 
> 
> The bright side to all this is that Cap in Endgame is the stuff wet dreams are made of. My love for him/Chris Evans has just been further solidified. Bonus for Cap’s dirty mouth. I’m excited for what potential this holds for future works on AO3.
> 
> This takes place during the time jump to 2012.

Steve leaned against the pillar, catching his breath. After five years of neglect, with only regret left in his hardened physique, he’d lost a bit of his former vigor. He only needed a minute, he told himself. Then he would return to the mission. _Just a minute._

He took a deep breath and stared down at his shield. A symbol he had long since abandoned. He didn’t deserve it. He’d failed them. Maybe he didn’t have it in him anymore to carry on the fight. 

But this was for Sam, he reminded himself. This was for Bucky. This was for all of them. He had to go on. But he couldn’t fight the ache in his heart, the bitterness that had begun to burn a hole through his facade of stability. He hated this new world. He was angry. But most of all, he was tired. He was done. 

He let out a sigh and closed his eyes, imagining a time in the past before reality had been thrown into chaos. A time when his smiles weren’t fake. His throat tightened and his grip on the shield left his knuckles white. 

“Captain?”

He slowly opened his eyes and saw a young woman standing before him. She looked nervous, if not a bit confused. 

“I thought you left already,” she went on as she took a step forward. 

_Shit_. “I forgot something,” Steve lied. He pushed himself off the pillar and went to leave, muttering as he went, “Have a nice day.”

“Wait!”

He stopped automatically. 

“You... look different,” she said in a low whisper. As if she wasn’t quite sure how to explain what she was seeing. As if she saw what other chose to ignore. The passage of time hard around the edges. 

“Well, it’s been a long day,” Steve answered without turning around. But then he felt the small press of her little hand on his shoulder. He turned enough to look at her with a fleeting glance. 

“Are you alright?” She asked with eyes brimming with worry. 

_You don’t know me,_ he thought with a building anger. _You don’t know anything_. But he forced himself to smile and said, “Of course.”

But she didn’t believe him.“You don’t look alright.” She leaned into him, putting her weight against his back. “Is there anything I can do?”

His grip on the shield tightened; his free hand formed into a solid fist. What could anyone do for him? Back in his own time, everything was so broken, so beyond repair. Even if they managed to put it all back together again, it wouldn’t erase what they’d been through, what they’d done. He ground his teeth together to dull the rage. 

“No,” he hissed. 

“But I...” Her hand slid down his arm and his restraint snapped. Everything holding him in check faded into distant memory. In the past, it didn’t matter what he did. That’s what Banner had explained. This would be a new timeline with its own consequences. Reality be damned. 

He spun around and pushed her into the wall, pinning her there with his hand held to her fragile throat. She gasped and reached up, trying to free herself. But it was hopeless. 

“You want to help me?” He growled with eyes ablaze. 

She swallowed beneath the grip of his hand, her mouth opening softly. “Yes,” she whimpered though her gaze held only fear. 

“No one can help me.”

He lunged at her, capturing her mouth with his to silence any means of protest. She cried out but the sound of it was lost in his embrace as his tongue slide past her lips. A fistful of her hair ensnared around his grasp as he took what he needed. His hand slide down the front of her dress before he grabbed the frail material and tore it wide open. She was bare before him, shaking and helpless. But she made no move to stop him. Even her little, trembling legs parted for him slightly as his gaze trailed down her center. His cock twitched beneath him and was in his hand in seconds. He knew there was only one way for this moment to end. 

_It doesn’t matter_ , he told himself. _None of this does._

He had her up against the wall as he slammed into her. She was tight, and wet with wanting. Not what he was expecting. Not what he deserved. He listened to her small, delicate whimpers: the only thing that kept him grounded in the moment. Or else he’d evaporate into the ether, becoming a figment of himself. His balls slapped against her with each unrelenting thrust. Violent with need. She wasn’t Peggy. No one would even compare. So no one would ever truly deserve his tenderness. So he would fuck this nameless woman until he forgot who he really was. 

Her hands clung to his back, pulling him closer. His lips went to her throat, leaving his mark of her with little care for remorse. He was overwhelmed by the need to maim her, to leave her as broken as he had become. But she only cried out for more as her thighs clutched to his sides for stability. He felt her cling tighter around him, urging him deeper. So he didn’t stop, didn’t slow down. Just took what he needed from her. 

He didn’t speak, and neither did she. They both knew they shouldn’t or else the veil would be lifted. No words needed to be spoken. And when he finally came, he gave her little warning. He merely grunted to signal the end as he thrusted hard into her cunt, spilling into her. She whimpered and quivered beneath him, finding her own release around him with a silent moan. She rested her lips against his neck and breathed in a shallow rhythm. Small tears trickled down her cheeks and stained his shoulder. He fought back the need to comfort her. He wouldn’t give her the hope of more. 

He held her there for a moment too long, giving her more consolation than he had should have. But when his heart could no longer handle the reality of what he had done, he pulled free of her. His warmth spilled from her, droplets dirtying the pristine floor. He set her gently on her feet. When he tried to leave, her hand clung to the front of his still worn uniform. A silent plea for him not to go. But he pried her hand free unceremoniously, finger by finger. He adjusted himself and stepped away to grab his shield. As if what they had just done had been no more casual than a mere hand shake. 

“Steve,” she whispered. Her voice broke into a sob. Words hidden beneath the name. _Why did you do this?_ It broke the illusion, that they were only strangers. She knew him. But she was just another face in the crowd to him. Someone not worth remembering. And that made him more of a monster than he even realized he’d become. 

He didn’t turn around as he walked away to resume his mission. To put back the mask of the adjusted solider. To be the backbone the team needed. They needed to believe he was stronger, stronger than any of them. That was the lie they needed, more than the truth. His muscles tensed as he left her there behind him, clutching to the remnants of her dress with eyes stained in tears. 

He needed to be Captain America. There was no room for anything else. Damn the rest. Damn it all. 


End file.
